Best Cheap Web Hosting

As cyber crimes are getting escalated across the world, many countries are coming up with new jurisdiction laws to curb them. While these new jurisdiction laws can be beneficial in many ways, they can also pose obstacles for free speech.

Your website could get blacklisted or suspended for no mistake of yours. Therefore, it does not make sense to store your data, or host your websites, on the servers that are located in such countries. You will be forced to follow their harsh laws. They do not guarantee any protection or confidentiality for your critical business data.

Best Offshore Web Hosting Locations for Complete Data Privacy: eAskme  Other people are reading: 5 Reasons Why You Should not do Blogging

While choosing a web hosting company for your business or personal needs, you must also be concerned about their privacy laws and security features offered by them. Sometimes, it would seem improper to go for the local host, because the laws of that country simply do not offer long term feasibility.

Obviously, offshore web hosting is the best solution, for dealing with the aforementioned problems. In this article, we shall specify some of the countries which offer stringent data privacy laws and powerful servers.

Countries offering best data privacy for web hosting: United States •    The web hosting market in the US was strategically advantageous when the internet was in its infancy. Due to the new restrictive laws now, freedom of speech is getting stifled. •    The FBI has seized and closed multiple websites for a variety of violations, which majority of citizens take as attempt of control and censorship. USA may not be the country for data privacy in the long run.

Our score: 3/10

Romania •    The country offers fast internet speeds and is getting popular video hosting and streaming services. •    Less regulated than Eastern European countries. •    Businesses in Europe and Asia can take advantage of the close location and data privacy laws.

Our score: 6/10

Switzerland •    Federal Act of Switzerland has been providing highest standards for data protection, for their clients from all around the world. •    Whereas., the US government secretly gathers the data of internet users, under the provisions of the Patriot Act and FISA, but in Switzerland prosecutors will need to file a formal request to obtain internet data.

Our score: 8/10

Netherlands •    The Dutch government just accused Google for violating the data privacy laws, which scores them full points for allowing freedom of speech. •    Netherlands complies with EU privacy laws, plus their own laws, which offer best data privacy. •    It is also popular as the second-best country for allowing freedom of press. •    It's Geo-location in Europe also makes it a good choice for hosting servers. •    Netherlands is part of EU and therefore have to follow their regulations.

Our score: 7/10

Norway •    Norway is not an EU member, so thy have the liberty of framing their own privacy laws, without any interference from EuroZone. •    Web hosting in Norway is expensive, but data protection is excellent in comparison. •    Any foreign government will need to get approval from the Norwegian court to get access to online private information.

Our score: 7/10

Iceland – Our score 9/10 Iceland has stringent data privacy laws and so it is the most popular web-hosting country. Its geo-location is a plus point for web hosting, because it has good connectivity with North America and Europe.

Data Protection Act which was drafted in the year 2000 includes any measures to ensure that, even the Government has to strictly adhere to the privacy protection protocol. Even though Iceland adopts the privacy laws of EuroZone. Which are indubitably better than the USA, they have eliminated many of the stricter ones, that compromise the data privacy of their users.

Iceland is actively taking help to build the 'Free speech zone', by partnering with dedicated web hosting companies. They are working towards preserving the confidentiality of personal and business data.

There are many offshore and national web hosting options, but you must first understand the legal requirements of the country, before you select the right one. Among the nations mentioned above, Iceland seems to be an ideal location, because of the constitutional protection that is provided against censorships.

Thousands of businesses from foreign countries use Iceland as their web hosting nation, because the legal obligations are more relaxed, when compared to that in their own countries.

Source: Best Offshore Web Hosting Locations for Complete Data Privacy

DAYTON, Ohio (WDTN) –  One Dayton native created a web series that will be shown at a local theater.

David Beck, of Dayton, will show his web series on July 10 at The Neon.

Beck's web series, Spring Street, is about about a private piano teacher's life in NYC after a tragic death of his beloved Grammy. He deals with the arrival of his pregnant sister, who is recovering from a heroin addiction, and a charming new student with a mysterious past. The series examines love of all shades, the plight of addiction, and the influence of music on the soul. The ensemble is a unique blend of LGBTQI and ethnic groups, reflecting New York's diversity.

Tickets are $8 and the show starts at 7:30 p.m.

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Source: Dayton Native to host Web Series at The Neon

As cyber crimes are getting escalated across the world, many countries are coming up with new jurisdiction laws to curb them. While these new jurisdiction laws can be beneficial in many ways, they can also pose obstacles for free speech.

Your website could get blacklisted or suspended for no mistake of yours. Therefore, it does not make sense to store your data, or host your websites, on the servers that are located in such countries. You will be forced to follow their harsh laws. They do not guarantee any protection or confidentiality for your critical business data.

Best Offshore Web Hosting Locations for Complete Data Privacy: eAskme  Other people are reading: 5 Reasons Why You Should not do Blogging

While choosing a web hosting company for your business or personal needs, you must also be concerned about their privacy laws and security features offered by them. Sometimes, it would seem improper to go for the local host, because the laws of that country simply do not offer long term feasibility.

Obviously, offshore web hosting is the best solution, for dealing with the aforementioned problems. In this article, we shall specify some of the countries which offer stringent data privacy laws and powerful servers.

Countries offering best data privacy for web hosting: United States •    The web hosting market in the US was strategically advantageous when the internet was in its infancy. Due to the new restrictive laws now, freedom of speech is getting stifled. •    The FBI has seized and closed multiple websites for a variety of violations, which majority of citizens take as attempt of control and censorship. USA may not be the country for data privacy in the long run.

Our score: 3/10

Romania •    The country offers fast internet speeds and is getting popular video hosting and streaming services. •    Less regulated than Eastern European countries. •    Businesses in Europe and Asia can take advantage of the close location and data privacy laws.

Our score: 6/10

Switzerland •    Federal Act of Switzerland has been providing highest standards for data protection, for their clients from all around the world. •    Whereas., the US government secretly gathers the data of internet users, under the provisions of the Patriot Act and FISA, but in Switzerland prosecutors will need to file a formal request to obtain internet data.

Our score: 8/10

Netherlands •    The Dutch government just accused Google for violating the data privacy laws, which scores them full points for allowing freedom of speech. •    Netherlands complies with EU privacy laws, plus their own laws, which offer best data privacy. •    It is also popular as the second-best country for allowing freedom of press. •    It's Geo-location in Europe also makes it a good choice for hosting servers. •    Netherlands is part of EU and therefore have to follow their regulations.

Our score: 7/10

Norway •    Norway is not an EU member, so thy have the liberty of framing their own privacy laws, without any interference from EuroZone. •    Web hosting in Norway is expensive, but data protection is excellent in comparison. •    Any foreign government will need to get approval from the Norwegian court to get access to online private information.

Our score: 7/10

Iceland – Our score 9/10 Iceland has stringent data privacy laws and so it is the most popular web-hosting country. Its geo-location is a plus point for web hosting, because it has good connectivity with North America and Europe.

Data Protection Act which was drafted in the year 2000 includes any measures to ensure that, even the Government has to strictly adhere to the privacy protection protocol. Even though Iceland adopts the privacy laws of EuroZone. Which are indubitably better than the USA, they have eliminated many of the stricter ones, that compromise the data privacy of their users.

Iceland is actively taking help to build the 'Free speech zone', by partnering with dedicated web hosting companies. They are working towards preserving the confidentiality of personal and business data.

There are many offshore and national web hosting options, but you must first understand the legal requirements of the country, before you select the right one. Among the nations mentioned above, Iceland seems to be an ideal location, because of the constitutional protection that is provided against censorships.

Thousands of businesses from foreign countries use Iceland as their web hosting nation, because the legal obligations are more relaxed, when compared to that in their own countries.

Source: Best Offshore Web Hosting Locations for Complete Data Privacy

June 27, 2017

By Mizzy Moore in Business Technology Webmasters

Web host reviews can feel rather stagnant because most are written from a factual point of view rather than the emotional point of view. Spending money is more emotional online, so how does a review of the technical capabilities of a handful of Web hosts measure up to how good they are?

When you are looking for a hosting solution for the first time, it always appears to come down to price. But don't be fooled. Each hosting solution has its own way of handling the hosting. The servers can be just as varied in operating systems as computers, and there may be solutions more geared for development or commerce than just general use.

Whether you are just an aspiring blogger or entrepreneur, there are some things to look for when it comes to deciding on which hosting solution is best suited for you.

Number of Domains

It's easy to get your first domain name. A good number of hosting providers will give you a free domain name if you opt to buy one of their hosting solution packages. However, it's just as easy to start getting more domains. Find out if your potential hosting solution has any limits on how many domains you can have under a single account.

Number of E-mail Accounts

It is a rare thing to not be able to get an e-mail account associated with your domain. But there are some hosting solutions that don't. If this is a deal breaker for you, move on to the next potential hosting solution. If it isn't, find out if they offer integration with an e-mail provider like Google Apps and the associated cost.

Amount of Bandwidth and Storage Space

It is common for hosting providers to give you these details hand-in-hand with one another. Bandwidth is the amount of data that they will allow you and your visitors to upload and download (cumulatively) during the monthly billing cycle. You will know what your potential overage costs may be, or how the hosting provider handles them. Storage space should be large enough to support growth for your website.

Up-Time Guarantee

Every hosting provider claims to have close to 100 percent uptime. Be sure to read the fine print they give you regarding their uptime calculations. This is a deal breaker for many if hosts don't actually provide 100 percent, or close to it. Use your Googling skills to read reviews about that host to find out about their uptimes.

Customer Support

Every hosting provider has some sort of customer support. You have to wade through to find the one that offers the type of customer support that you desire. Not every hosting solution will offer 24/7/365 live chat or telephone support. Some hosting providers may in fact require you to pay for a higher tiered plan to unlock anything other than e-mail support.

If customer support is a big priority for you, you may want to look at selecting a managed WordPress hosting package that offers premium support.

Site Backups

You will want this feature in the event that the worst happens. Some hosting solutions may only do a site back up once a week, or not at all; leaving that responsibility to you. Even using cloud based hosting is not a fool-proof way to keep your data safe.

Framework Support and Easy Install

There are a lot of differing types of frameworks, with WordPress being one of the most popular ones. You will want to find a hosting solution that will accommodate the Content Management System (CMS) that you want to use. Being able to install that CMS should be as easy as possible.

Database Support

It's uncommon today to not need a database for your website. The most common database offered by hosting providers is MySQL, but if you have a preference for a different one you will have to ask them if they offer it. Not all database types are advertised or offered by all hosting providers.

Extra Applications

Depending on what your specific needs are, you will want to confirm that a hosting provider offers the solutions you need. Will you want forums, billboards, e-mail lists, eCommerce capabilities, or some other social features? Not all hosting providers will support all the extras that you may want or need.

Security Measures

Getting the exact security methods a hosting provider uses may be impossible because it is usually proprietary techniques. But knowing how regular they are with monitoring will help ensure that the potential for data loss is as close to non-existent as possible.

Exit Strategy

Read the fine print with your chosen hosting provider. How hard will it be to move your website to another hosting provider? Will there be any cancellation fees? How helpful will they be when and if you decide to eventually move? These are all concerns that you should have answered before you sign on the virtual dotted line.

Summing Up

These are just a handful of the concerns that you should have answered before finalizing on any hosting provider. Sadly, you won't know the extent of how good or bad a hosting provider is until you actually use them.

While bandwidth. storage, cost and uptimes may be the primary concern of most consumers, it is important to look at the other factors that can make hosting a dream or a nightmare. Security measures, ease of managing multiple domains and CMS support should also be a primary concern for anyone looking for a hosting solution.

Feel free to thoroughly question every aspect of a plan that a hosting provider offers. There may be something that is not initially shown, or is buried in the fine print. As a final note, don't be afraid to visit a third-party hosting review site to read what other users have to say about your chosen hosting company. Look for a good number of positive ratings and keep in mind to avoid a company that has a lot of negative reviews.

Mizzy Moore is a young writer who is passionate about literature and blog writing.

Source: What You Should be Looking for in a Web Host

Genius Guard is one of the premier cloud web hosting company based in the UK that is serving online businesses both locally and internationally, the web hosting company recently announced the launch of their DDOS protected web hosting services. The DDoS protected hosting will be the advanced version of Genius Guard's flagship hosting platform, the hosting will most importantly be the safest hosting service out there against threats such as hackers and unscrupulous elements online, it will also be fast and reliable backed by Genius Guard's powerful servers.

The company's existing customers can also upgrade to the DDOS PROTECTED storage performance. This particular type of latest web hosting service will offer users additional benefits that are not yet accessible to conventional web hosting technology including minimal to zero security, slower speeds and failures. Genius Guard DDoS protection hosting provides DDoS mitigation along with fast web hosting performance and the surety of a powerful hosting system that automatically heals broken websites. The company will employ a variety of different DDoS mitigation technologies to ensure their clients are completely protected.

The Genius Guard spokesperson said: "We at Genius Guard are extremely excited to bring you our highly dependable DDoS protected web hosting solutions, designed to give you great peace of mind. We are confident that our advanced DDoS mitigation technology will enable you to give your brand a very secure online presence. Genius Guard is a name that you can trust when it comes to shared web hosting and now you can trust us to have your back against hackers and from the unscrupulous elements online."

Genius Guard will use their latest and the most advanced web hosting equipment servers for domains; the websites are hosted on Genius Guard powerful servers at backend are run and managed by their team of highly experienced web hosting technicians. Genius Guard clients will enjoy 24/7/365  support provided by their dedicated support staff ready to help with any problems or technical questions with expert advice.

About us:

Genius Guard is a leading cloud web hosting company that has been providing high performance cloud hosting services for almost a decade to web designers, bloggers and businesses to local and foreign businesses alike. Their services are backed by 24/7 reliable customer support which is provided by a team of knowledgeable staff with fast turnaround time.

For more information, please visit: www.geniusguard.com

Media ContactCompany Name: Genius Security LtdEmail: Send EmailAddress:20-22 Wenlock Road N1 7GUCity: LondonCountry: United KingdomWebsite: www.geniusguard.com

Source: Genius Guard to Launch Unlimited DDOS protected Web Hosting

Making a poor choice when selecting a hosting service for a website can negatively impact its performance. Fortunately, future negative effects can be avoided by migrating over to another hosting service; but if care is taken in selecting a hosting service in the first place, performance problems can easily be avoided.

Since so much emphasis is placed on quality content and providing a superior UX, selecting a host at times receives inadequate attention. Too few business website owners recognize the important role a hosting service can play in the success of the online portion of their businesses; and that their website's performance is not fully determined by its design.

There are plenty of website hosting companies that offer excellent performance and would like to do business with you, but you should take the time to look into the details of what each has to offer before making a decision. Here is a close look at 5 of the best, plus some tips to help you make the right choice.

SiteGround

SiteGround's highly reliable, secure and and performance optimised platform guarantees a smooth server performance with 99.9% Uptime. They also offer developer/designer friendly tools like WP-CLI, Staging for WordPress and Joomla, GIT integrations, Automatic WordPress updates, Drush, SSH, FTP and more. By visiting their website, you can check out the performance-enhancing features in detail.

Speed: Their servers are extremely efficient and build on the highly elastic Linux Container (LXC) techonlogy. They also run the latest version of Apache, MySQL and the latest technology in speed performance with SSD drives, NGINX and HTTP2. SiteGround's newest tools include the SG Site Scanner and the SG Optimizer Plugin for WordPress that boost overall website performance with integrated caching, single click HTTPS and the possibility to upgrade to PHP7.

Security: SiteGround has created an in-house server monitoring system that is extremely lightweight and can check the server status far more often than standard monitoring systems. It does not only detect current issues and fixes them immediately, but is also able to foresee future problems and to take actions to prevent them.

Support: SiteGround's support agents are always happy to go the extra mile and help both techies and beginners. They are available 24/7 via phone, chat with literally no hold times and the average response time on tickets is 10 minutes.

A2 Hosting

A2 Hosting has a solution to fit your needs. It can make this statement because it offers a variety of hosting plans. Whether you are operating a small personal site or a blogging website; or your website is a large corporate website that experiences tons of traffic and transactions, there is a hosting option that's just right for you.

Options include shared hosting (the ideal solution for many smaller websites and blogs), reseller hosting, VPS hosting which offers better speed and performance than does shared hosting, or either managed or unmanaged dedicated hosting (ideal for corporate sites).

With A2 Hosting, you can expect insanely fast page loading speeds, rock-solid data security, and 99.9% or greater uptime. If you need to transfer over from another hosting service, the A2 team will generally do it for free. You can also rely on the team for rapid response to your questions or issues, 24/7.

WordPress VIP

Multiple hosting plans are nice, but they are sometimes accompanied by complicated fee structures, or increased fees when the host tells you it's time for an upgrade. WordPress VIP offers three basic hosting plans; each of which operates on their cloud hosting platform, and each of which has a flat-fee structure. Their hosting services are primarily directed toward high-profile enterprise sites that experience high traffic.

GlowHost

Many website owners find using shared hosting services to work to their advantage. Occasionally, however, the websites may outgrow the performance and capacity capabilities of a shared server, and the hosting service will recommend (or require) that the website be moved over to a VPS service. GlowHost offers a superior solution with its Elastic Sites Platform. This server platform is similar to a VPS platform, but without its server management headaches.

Pagely – Premium WordPress Hosting Solutions

Pagely is the premier web hosting service specially designed for big brands with large WordPress websites and is 100% bootstrapped, to boot. Enterprise level and corporate, government or any heavily trafficked site will find the best technical support staff in the business, along with an impressive technology stack perfect for sites with copious amounts of data requiring a dedicated hosting platform. Smaller business owners or bloggers might look elsewhere.

Useful Tips for Selecting a Web Hosting Service

Although one or more of the 5 premier hosting services under discussion here would be a great choice for almost any website owner, the following tips are designed to help that website owner make the best possible choice in the shortest amount of time. It's simply a matter of following these 8 steps:

Define what the website is all about, and what your expectations are for it. This is the first step in determining if a hosting service is adequately addressing your websites hosting needs.

Take a peek into the future, and make a best guess at what you your website's hosting performance and data capacity requirements are expected to be down the road. This is especially important if you're managing a business website. If you are meeting your goals for success, you may eventually need to scale up your hosting requirements. Look for a hosting service that allows you to make a smooth transition as that time approaches.

Look into the hosting service's customer support promises. If what you find is something less than reliable, lightning-fast support; go elsewhere.

One way to be certain that a hosting service honors its commitments to its customers, is to read reviews that outline its pros and cons and perceived by its user community

Don't base your purchasing decision on pricing alone; especially if you come across a tempting offer. Assume the quality of support you will receive, will roughly corollate with the price you are willing to pay.

Read the Terms of Service!  Doing so is not always fun, but you need to see what the service has say about its refund policies, as well as any automatic upgrades and associated price increases.

Make sure you understand the hosting service's backup plan. You never want to put your website or customer data at risk.

Security breaches seem to have become somewhat commonplace these days, and that includes web hosting services. While most have backup capabilities that adequately protect their client's, the 5 services discussed here do an exceptional job of data and information protection.

Summing Up

The 5 hosting services described here were chosen in part because they will give you the most value for your money. It's simply a matter of choosing one that will give you the service and support you need. More than one of them will likely fill the bill. We do suggest checking the reviews before putting any money on the table.

The 5 hosting services described here were chosen in part because they will give you the most value for your money. It's simply a matter of choosing one that will give you the service and support you need. More than one of them will likely fill the bill. We do suggest checking the reviews before putting any money on the table.

Source: Top 5 Web Hosting Services Choices for 2017

There are so many web hosting providers online that you will be confused about which one to choose. Hence, this is a difficult task because if you end up selecting a terrible, erratic and poor web host,  you may be unable to build an effective and great online presence and it can also have a negative impact on your search rankings. This is even much more important for businesses because if their website is always down, it may result in the massive loss of customers. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel agency, shares things you should know before choosing a web host.

Purpose

Whether you're choosing a host for an existing website, or looking to start from scratch, what you want to use the site for should influence your hosting decisions. For example, do you plan to make money from your website, or is it something you're setting up for fun? If it is for fun or personal, free hosting will serve you well. However, if it is a business website, you require a paid host.

Price

Expensive does not necessarily mean it is the best. At the same time, you can not use a cheap web host for hosting your website especially if you rely on your website to make money. This is not a problem for small business and startup because they can upgrade later. But, blue-chip companies should never patronise cheap host due to their limited features.

Usability

Web usability is the ease of use of a website.  The web host you choose has a huge role to play in making your website usable. The number one usability feature to look out for is if the web hosting provider has programs like cPanel, ispCP or ISPConfig. These programs allow you to set up and customize your website and hosting. Thus making it easier to use.

Speed

Expensive or cheap, you want a web host that is fast and responsive. It can be very annoying if your awesome and great website has a slow load time especially when you start getting engagement and traction. Simply, get a Web host that has features that make the site load quickly.

Customer Support

A web host provider must be customer friendly by ensuring they respond as fast as possible to your inquiries and complaints especially when your website is down. If they take forever to fix your website, do not use such a host. You can get information about this from your friends who already manages a website.

Related

Source: 5 Things To Know Before Selecting A Web Hosting Provider

 

A South Korean Web hosting company, Nayana, announced that it had suffered a massive breach affecting its servers, allowing attackers to take control of an immense amount of user data. The company said it agreed to pay $1 million to a ransomware operation that encrypted data stored on 153 of the company's Linux servers, which affected 3,400 customer Websites.

The hackers initially demanded $4.4 million in Bitcoin to return the data back to the company. But after a bit of back and forth negotiation, Nayana finally settled on a ransom fee of $1 million in Bitcoin, to be paid out over three installments.

Nayana is currently in the process of transferring the stolen data back to its servers. The next step would be to create backups of the data and then analyze it to confirm the integrity of the recovered files. The company estimates the entire process will likely take between four to seven days to complete.  

"It is very frustrating and difficult, but I am really doing my best, and I will do my best to make sure all servers are normalized," said a Nayana representative. 

Over the past year, ransomware demands have risen rapidly, tripling in price from 2015 to 2016. However, this latest attack is perhaps the largest known single payment made to date.

Trend Micro, a cybersecurity research firm, identified the ransomware affecting Nayana as Erebus. Once targeting computers running Microsoft Windows, Erebus has recently morphed into a variant that will now affect Linux systems. In a recent Trend Micro blog post, security firm researchers wrote:

As for how this Linux ransomware arrives, we can only infer that Erebus may have possibly leveraged vulnerabilities or a local Linux exploit. For instance, based on open-source intelligence, NAYANA's website runs on Linux kernel 2.6.24.2, which was compiled back in 2008. Security flaws like DIRTY COW that can provide attackers root access to vulnerable Linux systems are just some of the threats it may have been exposed to.

Additionally, NAYANA's website uses Apache version 1.3.36 and PHP version 5.1.4, both of which were released back in 2006. Apache vulnerabilities and PHP exploits are well-known; in fact, there was even a tool sold in the Chinese underground expressly for exploiting Apache Struts. The version of Apache NAYANA used is run as a user of nobody(uid=99), which indicates that a local exploit may have also been used in the attack.

Trend Micro researches went on to say, "It's worth noting that this ransomware is limited in terms of coverage, and is, in fact, heavily concentrated in South Korea."

This latest incident is just another unfortunate case in a recent string of ransomware attacks. Weeks ago, thousands of systems were infected with a persistent malicious software now known as WannaCry. 

Nearly all organizations and government agencies highly recommend against paying ransomware demands. But that's easy to say if you aren't the one affected and cannot get access to your data. So what do you do? What type of plan should you have in place? 

Experts in this field weigh in with their thoughts and comments:

"As ransomware continues to gain notoriety well beyond IT circles, the stories of those impacted continues to astound. The recent exploit targeting a single managed service provider, Nayana, and impacting thousands of their customers is unique because it impacted such a broad scope of companies with just one attack. Nayana's $1M payment is also the largest ransomware payment ever made. This is quite a gamble considering there is a very high likelihood the hackers still won't remove the encryption that blocks Nayana's access to their data. This serves as a heavy gut check for business and IT leaders - especially for MSPs and CSPs - to fully assess their disaster recovery capabilities. They need to make sure their IT resilience strategy can easily nullify ransomware attacks with technology that allows for critical applications and data to be recovered to the point just before an attack happens." -- Rob Strechay, VP of Product, Zerto

"Ransomware has proved to be one of the most effective ways to infiltrate an organization, and cyber criminals are increasingly becoming better at embedding malware into any number of generally consumed data types, from email to websites and even mobile apps. The extensive cyberattacks on Britain's National Health Service and the many cases before it, continue to reinforce the need for organizations to secure their environments, frequently protect their data, and implement early detection mechanisms to reduce the risk of data being held at ransom. Discussions need to take place at the board level about an organization's data recovery strategy and its intersection with its security and ransomware strategy in order to keep sensitive data out of the hands of the wrong people." -- Don Foster, Senior Director, Solutions Marketing, Commvault

"Ransomware attacking consumers and ransomware attacking companies are two different stories. While a regular user might not have any data critical enough to pay the ransom, companies usually have. Especially if it is not only about their own data, but data of their customers, in which case they just have to figure out how to get the data back or immediately go bankrupt. We have already seen quite a lot of ransomware attacks on the companies (San Francisco train system, massive WannaCry - just to name a few major public cases), but I believe that this is just the beginning. Relatively simple attack technique and enormously high reward are too tempting for cybercriminals. Every company today - including SMBs, enterprises and critical infrastructure providers - should be prepared and alert. Install OS and software updates, do backup, deploy endpoint protection - none of these steps can be ignored nowadays." -- Eugene Aseev, Vice President of Engineering at Acronis

"News of another ransomware attack isn't surprising, as it's a matter of 'when' not 'if' for most businesses. What is surprising is that Nayana opted to pay the $1M ransom to restore its data. This illuminates just how valuable data is and how far businesses are willing to go to protect it and rescue it. Unfortunately, this habit of companies paying ransoms, only encourages more hacks and larger ransoms and represents an approach that is outdated and unsustainable. Instead, companies need to have an infrastructure in place that can quickly and easily restore data to the point just before an attack, allowing IT teams to simply ignore ransom demands. Investing in such an infrastructure means you have an insurance policy against, not just ransomware, but any data-damaging incident or issue." -- Gary Watson, VP Technical Engagement, Nexsan

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Source: South Korean Web Host Agrees to Pay $1M Ransomware Demand

Web developers and designers unfortunately don't have the kind of job where they can remain effective or efficient in the face of continual disruptions. These jobs are also so highly specialized that, while it's great to have a basic understanding of how other things work, it doesn't make that much sense to be a Jack-of-all-trades.

As a WordPress developer or designer, you know there are certain things you absolutely need in order to properly manage the backend of your site. Regular backups, security, a reliable and fast network – these you can't compromise on. But managing them takes time away from everything else you do, including trying to run and scale your business.

While you could hire another developer or implementer to help with this aspect of your work, why not outsource to a reliable third party? Better yet, why not consolidate your need for managed WordPress services with your web hosting plan? This will ensure that everything server-side remains in the hands of one provider.

Kinsta's managed WordPress hosting services would be the perfect solution for the designer/developer who wants to spend less time worrying about what's affecting their site's performance on the backend and more time on the work that's going to make them money.

Managed WordPress Hosting from Kinsta

Hunting around for the right hosting plan can be tedious. You know what you need, but you also don't want to get stuck in a plan that limits what your site can do. When you need a high-performing platform to power your high-performing website, working with a provider like Kinsta is sure to give you the results you seek.

So, what exactly do you get from Kinsta's web hosting plans?

For starters, you don't have to sift through a variety of plan types. All of Kinsta's managed hosting plans run on the Google Cloud Platform and come jam-packed with the essentials (and much more).

There are four business plans, ranging from $100 to $400 a month, and four enterprise plans, ranging from $600 to $1,500 a month. The price is based on how many websites you host and the amount of bandwidth utilized on their servers.

Here are some of the core features you should be aware of:

Unlimited Visitors

Because your site is hosted on a cloud platform, you don't need to worry about caps on site traffic. Kinsta's plans are differentiated by three factors:

Number of websites hosted on the plan

SSD storage

Server bandwidth

Next-Gen Technology

Even for sites that are brand new, there's always that fear that a traffic spike or security breach could take down your site and you'd be left having to start all over again.

However, Kinsta relies on top-of-the-line technology to power their hardware, software, and infrastructure, in turn ensuring that your site's performance remains unaffected regardless of what happens outside it.

Server hardware comes from Google Cloud Platform.

Software is powered by LXD which keeps every website securely isolated in its own container.

PHP 7, Nginx, Ubuntu, and MariaDB to keep everything running fast.

Low Latency Infrastructure

Kinsta's data centers are located around the globe to ensure low latency for their customers' websites. In addition, they've given customers even more control over latency by providing premium DNS services via Amazon Route 53 with every plan. DNS records can easily be managed from the Kinsta admin dashboard.

Top-of-the-line Security

Considering Kinsta works with the Google Cloud Platform, it should come as no surprise that security is of the utmost importance. Each plan includes:

Uptime checks every minute of every day

Automated daily backups

Free SSL certificate

DDoS monitoring

Hardware firewall

In addition to offering such hardened security features, Kinsta offers to fix customers' websites for free in the unlikely event that they are hacked.

24/7 Dedicated Support

As a managed hosting company, Kinsta's plans come with 24/7 monitoring of customers' websites.

They also offer support from their team of WordPress experts who can assist with issues, provide advice, and who also handle website migrations for free.

Managed WordPress Hosting Made for Developers

By far one of the biggest selling points in choosing Kinsta to host your website, or network of websites, is their commitment to providing a developer-friendly platform.

Seeing as how the majority of people behind their company come from a web development background, it makes sense they'd want to create a managed hosting solution that would work for an audience they understand.

Here are some of the developer-specific features of their web hosting plans:

Admin Dashboard

You can do everything from this dashboard, including:

Add a new site to your network of sites

Launch a staging site for testing purposes

Clone a site

Do a deep-dive into your site's analytics

Contact Kinsta support for questions and help

One-Click Site Management

You want to be thorough in your work, but you also don't want to spend time recreating the wheel. Kinsta has a number of developer features that enable you to clone websites, set up staging environments, and more with just a single click.

Instant SSL Certificates

Kinsta provides free Let's Encrypt certificates which can easily be deployed from the dashboard. This allows you to migrate your WordPress site to HTTPS and take advantage of performance improvements such as HTTP/2, which is enabled on all Kinsta servers. Developers can also upload custom SSL certificates.

Web Development Tools

Finally, we come to the part that every web developer wants to see: the tools integrated into Kinsta meant specifically for them.

PHP: You have a choice of which version of PHP you want to use, including 5.6, 7, 7.1, and HHVM. Kinsta also comes with Composer.

WP-CLI: Command line tools you can use so you don't have to work directly within WordPress.

Git: Integration with this version control system to automate and improve your workflow.

Wrapping Up

If your goal is to keep a laser-like focus on your workload and your business, then you can't afford to let sub-par web hosting and the day-to-day hassle of managing the backend of your site get in the way of that.

With WordPress as your content management system of choice, then you know that there's a multitude of support and complementary solutions available specifically for this platform – and Kinsta appears to be the clear choice when it comes to managed WordPress hosting.

For those of you interested in Kinsta's managed WordPress hosting, just mention 1stWebDesigner within the next 30 days, and you will get the added bonus of 50% off your first month!

Source: Better, Faster, Stronger WordPress Hosting with Kinsta

Nayana, a South Korean web hosting firm, was hit hard by a ransomware attack earlier this month which hit over 153 of its Linux servers, and impacting over 3,400 websites the company hosts for its business customers.

Nayana's systems are thought to have been hit by a Linux variant of the Erebus ransomware, designed to encrypt files on web servers and demand a payment for the data's safe return. In all, Erebus hints for 433 different file types on web servers – including documents, databases, images and videos.

Two weeks later, Nayana is still attempting to recover normal operations for its customers and has been posting updates on its forum detailing its progress.

Initially, the criminals behind the ransomware attack demanded 550 Bitcoins (approximately US $1.6 million):

My boss tell me, you buy many machine, give you a good price 550 BTCIf you do not have enough money, you need make a loan

You company have 40+ employees, every employee's annual salary $ 30,000all employees 30,000 * 40 = $ 1,200,000all server 550BTC = $ 1,620,000

If you can not pay that, you should go bankrupt.But you need to face your child, wife, customers and employees.Also, you will lose your reputation, business.You will get many more lawsuits.

After some negotiation, however, the ransom demand was reduced to 397.6 Bitcoins (a little more than US $1 million).

Of course, even that is a considerable amount of money for a victim of a cybercrime to pay out. Because of a lack of available funds, Nayana has agreed with the blackmailers to pay the ransom in three installments and – according to ZDNet – lent shares in Nayana to a firm which has previously been interested in acquiring the web-hosting business.

Obviously, questions must be asked as to why Nayana had to resort to paying criminals for the safe return of its data, and why it felt it wasn't in a position to restore customers' servers from secure backups in a timely fashion instead.

But more than that there remains the question of just how Nayana's servers managed to be compromised so thoroughly. Researchers at Trend Micro report that Nayana's Apache web servers appear to have been left unpatched for years, leaving them vulnerable to exploitation via well-known security holes that could have given an attack root access.

Whether that is the route through which Erebus managed to sneak its way onto Nayana's systems with such dramatic effect is uncertain, but what is clear is that if any company leaves itself unpatched and unprotected it is constantly in danger of being attacked again and again and again.

Ransomware isn't going away. It's one of the most effective ways for online criminals to make themselves a fortune. Ensure that you are properly protecting the computers you are responsible for, making regular secure backups, and deploying layered security measures to reduce the risk.

Author Graham Cluley, We Live Security

Source: Web-hosting firm agrees to pay over $1 million to ransomware extortionists

South Korean web hosting provider has agreed to pay $1 million in bitcoins to hackers after a Linux ransomware infected its 153 servers, encrypting 3,400 business websites and their data, hosted on them.

According to a blog post published by NAYANA, the web hosting company, this unfortunate event happened on 10th June when ransomware malware hit its hosting servers and attacker demanded 550 bitcoins (over $1.6 million) to unlock the encrypted files.

However, the company later negotiated with the cyber criminals and agreed to pay 397.6 bitcoins (around $1.01 million) in three installments to get their files decrypted. The hosting company has already paid two installments at the time of writing and would pay the last installment of ransom after recovering data from two-third of its infected servers.

According to the security firm Trend Micro, the ransomware used in the attack was Erebus that was first spotted in September last year and was seen in February this yea r with Windows' User Account Control bypass capabilities.

Since the hosting servers were running on Linux kernel 2.6.24.2, researchers believe that Erebus Linux ransomware might have used known vulnerabilities, like DIRTY COW; or a local Linux exploits to take over the root access of the system. "The version of Apache NAYANA used is run as a user of nobody(uid=99), which indicates that a local exploit may have also been used in the attack," researchers note. "Additionally, NAYANA's website uses Apache version 1.3.36 and PHP version 5.1.4, both of which were released back in 2006." Erebus, the ransomware primarily targeting users in South Korea, encrypts office documents, databases, archives, and multimedia files using the RSA-2048 algorithm and then appends them with a .ecrypt extension before displaying the ransom note."The file is first scrambled with RC4 encryption in 500kB blocks with randomly generated keys," researchers say. "The RC4 key is then encoded with AES encryption algorithm, which is stored in the file. The AES key is again encrypted using RSA-2018 algorithm that is also stored in the file."

The public key which is generated locally is shared, while the private key is encrypted using AES encryption and another randomly generated key.

According to analysis conducted by the Trend Micro researchers, decryption of infected files is not possible without getting hold of the RSA keys.

So, the only safe way of dealing with ransomware attacks is prevention. As we have previously recommended, the best defense against Ransomware is to create awareness within the organizations, as well as to maintain back-ups that are rotated regularly.

Most viruses are introduced by opening infected attachments or clicking on links to malware usually in spam emails. So, DO NOT CLICK on links provided in emails and attachments from unknown sources.

Moreover, ensure that your systems are running the latest version of installed applications.

Source: Web Hosting Company Pays $1 Million to Ransomware Hackers to Get Files Back

There are many web hosting companies out there, all claiming to be the best. How do you choose the one that will meet your needs?

The SmallBusiness.com Guide to Starting a Blog is sponsored and provided by GoDaddy.

Introduction

Name your blog and register its domain name (web address).

Choose a blog platform.

Choose a web host.

Connect your domain name to your blog.

Design your blog.

Publish your first post.

Promote that post and publish your second post, etc.

In the early days of blogging, individuals had to set up a computer with the collection of software necessary to display the text and graphics of a website or blog. While someone can still self-host a blog or website, most small businesses and individuals opt to use a web hosting service as a more efficient and easy-to-use alternative.

Hosting typically runs on a server owned by a web hosting company and your blog takes up just a small space on that server.

It's kind of like renting a single apartment in a building. You pay for the space you use. Unlike an apartment, if your hosting account goes down, your blog disappears from cyberspace and all those conversations come screeching to a halt. So it's important to choose a reputable blog hosting company with strong security and an uptime guarantee. You need to be sure that your blog will be up and visible to the whole world 24/7.

How to determine the hosting needs for your blog

Storage space

Do you plan to post a lot of images and videos? Do you expect a lot of visitors (or traffic)? Generally speaking, the more space-hogging elements (such as photos and videos) you have on your blog and the more visitors you have at any given time equals the more storage and bandwidth you need.

Backups and security patches

WordPress requires some regular back-end maintenance. If you don't have the time or don't feel comfortable doing this, pay someone else to do it.

Technical support

If your tech skills are limited to turning on your laptop, don't go with a free blogging platform. Pay for support—it will save you hours of scouring the web for help articles.

Price

How much can you afford to pay for hosting each month? Signup prices for shared hosting are sometimes cheap, but then the subscription renewal prices are high. When choosing the right company to host your blog, consider both signup and renewal costs, along with any additional fees like purchasing extra storage. Be sure that all charges are within your budget to avoid the risk of not being able to pay and losing your blog forever.

How to set up a GoDaddy Managed WordPress account

As an example of how to set up a hosted account, here is how one is set up using GoDaddy Managed WordPress hosting.

1 | Go to GoDaddy Managed WordPress.

Create an account if prompted.

2 | Choose your plan.

Unless you plan to have lots of photos and videos on your blog, start with the BASIC plan. You can always upgrade if/when your blog traffic increases. At first, skip the add-ons unless you're in the market for these solutions. Click CONFIGURE.

3 | Register your domain.

Note if there is a free or discount promotion.

Type the name you want to use for your blog into the box and click SEARCH.

Continue until you find the one you want. Click SELECT.

Already have a domain name you want to use? Select NO THANKS.

4 | Check the plan length drop-down and adjust if needed.

5 | Choose PRIVACY.

If you're accepting the free or discounted domain, check the "Keep my contact information private" box. Then check OUT.

6 | Go to Managed WordPress Help. There, you'll find detailed instructions on setting up a managed WordPress account.

Need more help?

GoDaddy, the sponsor and provider of this guide, always has friendly helpers standing by who can chat online or talk on the phone 24/7 at: .

instock

Step 4 | Connect your domain name to your blog

The contents of this guide were developed and sponsored by GoDaddy.It may include opinions other than those of SmallBusiness.com.

Source: How to Start a Small Business Blog, Step 3 | Choose a Web Host

1/5 (1)

For any online business eyeing a huge online engagement, web hosting holds the utmost importance. Many quality website parameters are set by the type of web hosting service deployed. It is very crucial for a website to provide a safe and seamless visiting experience to their audience. A good website hosting is the provider of such features for a substantial web presence.

What is web hosting?

For people who have the least idea of the term 'Web Hosting', it is the remote computer server where the website files are stored. Different companies provide this web hosting services on different cost variants which differ due to the scale of services offered.

Why is good hosting important?

A great web hosting service provides your website a fast loading time, optimal support options, a good search engine ranking, and the best-in-class server security. Now that you are aware of the perks, let's get into the substance of the subject matter.

Types of web hosting

Shared Web Hosting

Reseller Web Hosting

Cloud Based Web Hosting

Virtual Private Server (VPS)

Dedicated Web Server

Colocation Web Hosting

Self Service Web Hosting

Managed WordPress Hosting

If you are already aware of the basic things about web hosting, several questions must be arising in your mind like:

Why are the companies seeking a high price for Managed Hosting as compared to Shared Hosting? 

Is my expenditure worth the price I am willing to pay for this particular managed hosting or shared hosting? 

Is it fruitful for me to switch from one hosting type to another? 

If the answer is 'yes', then you must continue reading this post.

In this particular blog post, we will be talking about the differences between managed WordPress hosting and shared WordPress hosting; giving out a final conclusion about the most suitable type of web hosting for your website requirement.

Managed vs Shared Hosting: The difference

If you want your website to be handled with optimum expertise and have a good amount of money to be spared, Managed web hosting is your answer. With a dedicated server for every other single client, you can stay assured of the hardware handling along with the WordPress specific solutions. Good website hosting services maximize and optimize your hosting experience by employing the necessary website building tools.

If yours is a new website with basic traffic, you must opt Shared web hosting service. Very cheap yet effective to a certain length, this type can manage your website while it is in its nascent stages. In shared hosting, multiple websites are hosted on a single server. Your received set of services will depend upon the package that you are paying for. All the technical maintenance is handled by the provider.

Automated Backups and Updates:

For a website's data security, automated backups and updates are crucial. Catering to a specific website market, Managed Hosting helps your site with daily backups and updates. Along with it, you can also restore your valuable data. Automatic updates comprise of covering the operating system on a server like PHP and MySQL and WordPress. Automatic Backups and updates provided by managed hosting help you in keeping your website speedy, secure and stable.

On the other hand, the backed-up data is saved on the same server along with the data from other websites. Most of the shared hosting providers allow data backup through the cPanel. Hence, the original data, as well as the backup, is stored on the same. This will eventually mean that if there is a break—in or a security attack, the data will be compromised.

Talking about the updates, Managed web hosting is a complete package of updates. It pretty much manages the updates of everything ranging from the operating system to the WordPress itself. Whereas, in shared hosting, you will have to tend to the WordPress update essentials for yourself. The web hosting providers will manage the rest of the updates for the operating system, control panel, PHP, MySQL, and Apache etc.

Security

Nobody would want security issues to creep into their websites. So, if you currently pay for Managed hosting or if you are planning to migrate to it, you can be very much sure about the quality of security features that will be offered in the package deal. Regular malware scans, security threat monitoring, and mitigation are some of the enhanced security measures practiced by Managed hosting providers. Even if your website gets hacked, you can rely on the service professionals to sort out the best solution.

Shared web hosting services also employ good safety features but if your website gets compromised, you will have to figure the way out, all by yourself.

Speed

Every online business largely depends on the page loading time and if they manage to lose it, that is a firm sign of threat. Managed hosting providers host a dedicated server for a single website. Being WordPress optimization specific, they use server level caching to ensure a speedy website loading time.

With a very simple logical application, one can arrive at the fact that with many websites being hosted on the same server, there is distribution and allocation of the processing memory, bandwidth, disk space, etc. To maintain all websites, limits are put into the place. With shared hosting, the case is just similar.

Industry Players

The web hosting market has many providers who offer cheap or affordable and reliable services. It is up to you to streamline your needs and create a blueprint of your exact requirement. Once you are through, you will be able to choose the right web hosting service for your valuable WordPress website.Here are some of the best WordPress hosting industry players in Managed Hosting: WPEngine, Flywheel, SiteGround etc. In shared WordPress hosting, the leaders are BlueHost, Hostgator etc.

Wrapping up:

It is a widely established fact that the page loading time is one of the major aspects which makes the potential visitors reluctant about visiting a website. Hence, a safe, secure and speedy website is the most sought after digital property.

To sum up, it can be stated that if you are running a website with high website traffic, going for Managed WP Hosting is the best option for you.However, if you and your website are not ready to spend bigger fund for web hosting anytime soon, shared web hosting is the answer. If you are concerned about higher value issue, then you must stick to shared hosting as you always have an option to switch between the two.

If you have any queries about WordPress hosting, please feel free to share the same with us in the comments below.

Rate this post

Source: Managed vs Shared Hosting for WordPress: What's An Ideal Choice?

This article is part of a series created in partnership with SiteGround. Thank you for supporting the partners who make SitePoint possible.

There are many situations in which you might decide that self-hosting your website is the way to go. You may be a freelancer, an entrepreneur, or be running a personal or even non-profit site. You may wish to host the site on an always-on PC in your basement, or on a small server in your workplace.

Regardless of the situation, on-premise hosting is usually a bad idea. In this post, you'll have some reasons for that explained, in the hopes of providing useful information or warnings to both business decision makers as well as developers who are inexperienced with the "operations" side of the Internet – in this case, hosting websites.

Self-Hosting Has More Barriers to Starting

Depending on your Internet Service Provider (ISP) and your situation (whether you have a business class service package or a residential one), you may run into issues with your ISP blocking port 80 — the port to which most Internet traffic defaults. You may also be issued warnings or even have your service shut down if you host websites on-premise. This is most common when you are trying to host a site from your home connection and the ISP prefers that if you wish to do so, you purchase a business Internet package that is perhaps thrice as expensive.

However, some ISPs can still provide limitations even to the business class packages that can thwart your attempts to get your website up and running. Additionally, you will also need a static IP address, which may be an added cost, depending on how your ISP plans work. Most home (and some business) connections use dynamic IP addresses, which means that they change from time to time. If your IP address, the way by which your network can be found online, sometimes changes, you will have no easy, reliable way to point users who come to yourdomain.com to your on-premise hosting setup.

Self-Hosting Your Website Can Create Security Risks

There are security risks in anything you do on the Internet, of course, but hosting a website on your network opens you up to even more, especially if you're not certain of what you're doing. Websites big and small are subjected to denial of service attacks and scripting attacks, sometimes at mind-blowing volume. Your website can be for a single freelancer, a small startup, a two hundred person small company, or an enterprise outfit, and they all will attract attacks — some of which may even be automated and not even take into account the content of the site in question.

Hosting a web server on your network, if you're not careful, may open your network up to a Pandora's Box of security troubles that you'd never have to deal with if you hosted your website with a cloud service provider rather than on premise. Do you know enough about web servers (and, if your web server is Linux, do you know the command line)?

Self-Hosting Your Website is Less Reliable

Another point to consider about self-hosting your website is that you have less options for dealing with things like downtime and service outages.

If your power goes out in the typical residential or small business location, you have no control over the situation that follows. How long will it be out? Minutes? Hours? Days, even? It depends on the circumstance. What if a child touches or damages something they shouldn't, if it's in your home? What about in the office, if a careless employee spills a drink, or pulls the wrong cord?

Even if you secure your website on a server in a server cage in a dedicated room in your office, you can still run into random events such as a plumbing leak or an Internet service outage. If your bandwidth is exceeding the allotted amount, your ISP may throttle or shut down your connection. Many of these things are entirely out of your control.

All of these points are mitigated by using a hosting service which uses a professional data center to house its servers. They have multiple power and Internet providers, generators, cooling, security, fire suppression systems, offsite backups, and even redundancy to other locations. It's more than you can possibly provide in-house if you're the average small business or individual.

Considering the Costs of Self-Hosting Your Website

Let's take a few looks at the costs of self-hosting your website:

Static IP – You'll need a static IP address in order for people to properly find your web server when they enter your site's address into their browser. That typically costs extra on your Internet bill.

Better Internet Connection – You also may want a better Internet connection, especially if your website begins to gain in traffic. This, too, will cost you.

Equipment – You also need equipment to put the website on. A server, or a computer whose primary (or only) task is to function as a web server. If you are using Windows, you'll need an operating system license and perhaps other software. You may also need extra peripheral equipment – such as a switch or router — that you might not have needed otherwise.

Backups – You'll need to pay for an external cloud backup service, if at all possible, and you'll also need the equipment, software, and time spent on performing local backups as well. You want a backup copy of your data both on-site and off-site, so that you can use the local copy to do quick recoveries, and the off-site copy in a disaster. All of this will also cost money, and the time to set it up and test your backups occasionally to ensure the system is working.

Paying Consultants – Finally, you should assume you'll end up needing to pay consultants. Your business may not have the expertise locally to deal with certain networking or programming issues, and if you're a solo shop, even more so. You might as well chalk this up as a necessity, and have an emergency budget to deal with it when you need it.

Conclusions

Why are you considering this?

If it's to retain control of things (you don't trust third parties to host your site) consider the technological and safety concerns here and ask yourself who is in a better position to safely and effectively deliver your website content to visitors – your business office, or a hosting company whose entire purpose is to do this?

Is it to save money? Take a look at the incredibly affordable and full-featured hosting offerings with reputable hosts such as our partner, SiteGround. They solve all of these issues for you without a huge investment. If your business requires a website (and which one doesn't?) and cannot afford at least a reliable hosting service, perhaps the business itself is in question. What does your business have in its budget that could be replaced (a few dollars a month) in order to pay for the monthly hosting bill? Think about it.

Have any experiences, good or bad, with self-hosting your website? Let us know in the comments.

Source: Why Self-Hosting Your Website Is a Bad Idea

DEVELOPING: CNN, WaPo, NYT anonymous sources say Vladimir Putin may have ties to Russia

BREAKING: Manning and Snowden have come out with strong condemnation of Donald Trump leaking classified information to Russia

Gun store goes into lockdown over report an "active university professor" roving the grounds

Dozens injured at Ralph Lauren & Louis Vuitton headquarters after Ivanka calls in missile strikes on rival fashion houses

BOMBSHELL: Evidence proves Donald Trump conspired with his campaign to defeat Hillary Clinton

University ranked "very intolerant of free speech" fights the accusation by banning the study and all involved

Concerned that Russians don't consume enough alcohol in the month of March, Russia's Orthodox Church makes St. Patrick's Day​ official holiday

Grassroots group calls for "The Million Regulators March" on Washington, supported by all who fear the loss of their betters telling them what to do

Experts: Starbucks CEO Schultz's hiring of 10,000 Muslim refugees likely to blow up in his face

Will the groundprog be frightened by its own shadow and hide - or will there be another season of insane protests?

Trump signs executive order making California and New York national monuments; residents have two days to vacate

Women's March against fascism completed with 400,000 fewer deaths than anticipated

Feminist historians uncover ghastly concentration camps where so-called "housewives" were forced to live inauthentic lives slaving away in kitchens

Dictionary of the future: Global Warming was a popular computer simulation game, where the only way to win was not to play

"Anti-fascist" groups violently protest misspelling of their original name, "aren't-we-fascists"

Post-inauguration blues: millions of democrats distraught as the reality of having to find real jobs sets in

"Journalism is the continuation of war by other means" is exposed as a fake quote by mainstream media journalists

Congressional Democrats: "We cannot just simply replace Obamacare with freedom because then millions of Americans will suddenly become free"

Schoolchildren jailed for building only white snowmen

Obama's reckless attacks on Russia serve as recruitment tool to create more Russian hackers

Hillary: "I lost, so I'm going to follow our democratic traditions, poison the wells, and scorch the earth"

Children in Venezuela cook and eat their Christmas toys

Hillary: "I can hack Russia from my bathroom"

Hillary suggests to counter "fake news" with government newspaper called "Truth" ("Pravda" for Russian speakers)

BREAKING: Millions of uncounted votes found on Hillary's private voting machine in her Chappaqua bathroom

New York Times: Fidel Castro world's sexiest corpse

After years of trial and error, CIA finally succeeds with the "waiting it out" technique on Fidel Castro

Post-election shopping tip: look for the PoliticsFree label at your local grocer to make sure you don't buy from companies that don't want your business anymore

In Hillary's America, email server scrubs you

Obama transfers his Nobel Peace Prize to anti-Trump rioters

Democrats blame Hillary's criminal e-mail server for her loss, demand it face prison

Afraid of "dangerous" Trump presidency, protesters pre-emptively burn America down to the ground

Clinton Foundation in foreclosure as foreign donors demand refunds

Hillary Clinton blames YouTube video for unexpected and spontaneous voter uprising that prevented her inevitable move into the White House

Sudden rise in sea levels explained by disproportionately large tears shed by climate scientists in the aftermath of Trump's electoral victory

FBI director Comey delighted after receiving Nobel Prize for Speed Reading (650,000 emails in one week)

U.N. deploys troops to American college campuses in order to combat staggeringly low rape rates

Responding to Trump's surging poll numbers, Obama preemptively pardons himself for treason

Following hurricane Matthew's failure to devastate Florida, activists flock to the Sunshine State and destroy Trump signs manually

Tim Kaine takes credit for interrupting hurricane Matthew while debating weather in Florida

Study: Many non-voters still undecided on how they're not going to vote

The Evolution of Dissent: on November 8th the nation is to decide whether dissent will stop being racist and become sexist - or it will once again be patriotic as it was for 8 years under George W. Bush

Venezuela solves starvation problem by making it mandatory to buy food

Breaking: the Clinton Foundation set to investigate the FBI

Obama ​​captures rare Pokémon ​​while visiting Hiroshima

Movie news: 'The Big Friendly Giant Government' flops at box office; audiences say "It's creepy"

Barack Obama: "If I had a son, he'd look like Micah Johnson"

White House edits Orlando 911 transcript to say shooter pledged allegiance to NRA and Republican Party

President George Washington: 'Redcoats do not represent British Empire; King George promotes a distorted version of British colonialism'

Following Obama's 'Okie-Doke' speech, stock of Okie-Doke soars; NASDAQ: 'Obama best Okie-Doke salesman'

Weaponized baby formula threatens Planned Parenthood office; ACLU demands federal investigation of Gerber

Experts: melting Antarctic glacier could cause sale levels to rise up to 80% off select items by this weekend

Travel advisory: airlines now offering flights to front of TSA line

As Obama instructs his administration to get ready for presidential transition, Trump preemptively purchases 'T' keys for White House keyboards

John Kasich self-identifies as GOP primary winner, demands access to White House bathroom

Upcoming Trump/Kelly interview on FoxNews sponsored by 'Let's Make a Deal' and 'The Price is Right'

News from 2017: once the evacuation of Lena Dunham and 90% of other Hollywood celebrities to Canada is confirmed, Trump resigns from presidency: "My work here is done"

Non-presidential candidate Paul Ryan pledges not to run for president in new non-presidential non-ad campaign

Trump suggests creating 'Muslim database'; Obama symbolically protests by shredding White House guest logs beginning 2009

National Enquirer: John Kasich's real dad was the milkman, not mailman

National Enquirer: Bound delegates from Colorado, Wyoming found in Ted Cruz's basement

Iran breaks its pinky-swear promise not to support terrorism; US State Department vows rock-paper-scissors strategic response

Women across the country cheer as racist Democrat president on $20 bill is replaced by black pro-gun Republican

Federal Reserve solves budget crisis by writing itself a 20-trillion-dollar check

Widows, orphans claim responsibility for Brussels airport bombing

Che Guevara's son hopes Cuba's communism will rub off on US, proposes a long list of people the government should execute first

Susan Sarandon: "I don't vote with my vagina." Voters in line behind her still suspicious, use hand sanitizer

Campaign memo typo causes Hillary to court 'New Black Panties' vote

New Hampshire votes for socialist Sanders, changes state motto to "Live FOR Free or Die"

Martin O'Malley drops out of race after Iowa Caucus; nation shocked with revelation he has been running for president

Statisticians: one out of three Bernie Sanders supporters is just as dumb as the other two

Hillary campaign denies accusations of smoking-gun evidence in her emails, claims they contain only smoking-circumstantial-gun evidence

Obama stops short of firing US Congress upon realizing the difficulty of assembling another group of such tractable yes-men

In effort to contol wild passions for violent jihad, White House urges gun owners to keep their firearms covered in gun burkas

TV horror live: A Charlie Brown Christmas gets shot up on air by Mohammed cartoons

Democrats vow to burn the country down over Ted Cruz statement, 'The overwhelming majority of violent criminals are Democrats'

Russia's trend to sign bombs dropped on ISIS with "This is for Paris" found response in Obama administration's trend to sign American bombs with "Return to sender"

University researchers of cultural appropriation quit upon discovery that their research is appropriation from a culture that created universities

Archeologists discover remains of what Barack Obama has described as unprecedented, un-American, and not-who-we-are immigration screening process in Ellis Island

Mizzou protests lead to declaring entire state a "safe space," changing Missouri motto to "The don't show me state"

Green energy fact: if we put all green energy subsidies together in one-dollar bills and burn them, we could generate more electricity than has been produced by subsidized green energy

State officials improve chances of healthcare payouts by replacing ObamaCare with state lottery

NASA's new mission to search for racism, sexism, and economic inequality in deep space suffers from race, gender, and class power struggles over multibillion-dollar budget

College progress enforcement squads issue schematic humor charts so students know if a joke may be spontaneously laughed at or if regulations require other action

ISIS opens suicide hotline for US teens depressed by climate change and other progressive doomsday scenarios

Virginia county to close schools after teacher asks students to write 'death to America' in Arabic

'Wear hijab to school day' ends with spontaneous female circumcision and stoning of a classmate during lunch break

ISIS releases new, even more barbaric video in an effort to regain mantle from Planned Parenthood

Impressed by Fox News stellar rating during GOP debates, CNN to use same formula on Democrat candidates asking tough, pointed questions about Republicans

Shocking new book explores pros and cons of socialism, discovers they are same people

Pope outraged by Planned Parenthood's "unfettered capitalism," demands equal redistribution of baby parts to each according to his need

John Kerry accepts Iran's "Golden Taquiyya" award, requests jalapenos on the side

Citizens of Pluto protest US government's surveillance of their planetoid and its moons with New Horizons space drone

John Kerry proposes 3-day waiting period for all terrorist nations trying to acquire nuclear weapons

Chicago Police trying to identify flag that caused nine murders and 53 injuries in the city this past weekend

Cuba opens to affordable medical tourism for Americans who can't afford Obamacare deductibles

State-funded research proves existence of Quantum Aggression Particles (Heterons) in Large Hadron Collider

Student job opportunities: make big bucks this summer as Hillary's Ordinary-American; all expenses paid, travel, free acting lessons

Experts debate whether Iranian negotiators broke John Kerry's leg or he did it himself to get out of negotiations

Junior Varsity takes Ramadi, advances to quarterfinals

US media to GOP pool of candidates: 'Knowing what we know now, would you have had anything to do with the founding of the United States?'

NY Mayor to hold peace talks with rats, apologize for previous Mayor's cowboy diplomacy

China launches cube-shaped space object with a message to aliens: "The inhabitants of Earth will steal your intellectual property, copy it, manufacture it in sweatshops with slave labor, and sell it back to you at ridiculously low prices"

Progressive scientists: Truth is a variable deduced by subtracting 'what is' from 'what ought to be'

Experts agree: Hillary Clinton best candidate to lessen percentage of Americans in top 1%

America's attempts at peace talks with the White House continue to be met with lies, stalling tactics, and bad faith

Starbucks new policy to talk race with customers prompts new hashtag #DontHoldUpTheLine

Hillary: DELETE is the new RESET

Charlie Hebdo receives Islamophobe 2015 award; the cartoonists could not be reached for comment due to their inexplicable, illogical deaths

Russia sends 'reset' button back to Hillary: 'You need it now more than we do'

Barack Obama finds out from CNN that Hillary Clinton spent four years being his Secretary of State

President Obama honors Leonard Nimoy by taking selfie in front of Starship Enterprise

Police: If Obama had a convenience store, it would look like Obama Express Food Market

Study finds stunning lack of racial, gender, and economic diversity among middle-class white males

NASA: We're 80% sure about being 20% sure about being 17% sure about being 38% sure about 2014 being the hottest year on record

People holding '$15 an Hour Now' posters sue Democratic party demanding raise to $15 an hour for rendered professional protesting services

Cuba-US normalization: US tourists flock to see Cuba before it looks like the US and Cubans flock to see the US before it looks like Cuba

White House describes attacks on Sony Pictures as 'spontaneous hacking in response to offensive video mocking Juche and its prophet'

CIA responds to Democrat calls for transparency by releasing the director's cut of The Making Of Obama's Birth Certificate

Obama: 'If I had a city, it would look like Ferguson'

Biden: 'If I had a Ferguson (hic), it would look like a city'

Obama signs executive order renaming 'looters' to 'undocumented shoppers'

Ethicists agree: two wrongs do make a right so long as Bush did it first

The aftermath of the 'War on Women 2014' finds a new 'Lost Generation' of disillusioned Democrat politicians, unable to cope with life out of office

White House: Republican takeover of the Senate is a clear mandate from the American people for President Obama to rule by executive orders

Nurse Kaci Hickox angrily tells reporters that she won't change her clocks for daylight savings time

Democratic Party leaders in panic after recent poll shows most Democratic voters think 'midterm' is when to end pregnancy

Desperate Democratic candidates plead with Obama to stop backing them and instead support their GOP opponents

Ebola Czar issues five-year plan with mandatory quotas of Ebola infections per each state based on voting preferences

Study: crony capitalism is to the free market what the Westboro Baptist Church is to Christianity

Fun facts about world languages: the Left has more words for statism than the Eskimos have for snow

African countries to ban all flights from the United States because "Obama is incompetent, it scares us"

Nobel Peace Prize controversy: Hillary not nominated despite having done even less than Obama to deserve it

Obama: 'Ebola is the JV of viruses'

BREAKING: Secret Service foils Secret Service plot to protect Obama

Revised 1st Amendment: buy one speech, get the second free

Sharpton calls on white NFL players to beat their women in the interests of racial fairness

President Obama appoints his weekly approval poll as new national security adviser

Obama wags pen and phone at Putin; Europe offers support with powerful pens and phones from NATO members

White House pledges to embarrass ISIS back to the Stone Age with a barrage of fearsome Twitter messages and fatally ironic Instagram photos

Obama to fight ISIS with new federal Terrorist Regulatory Agency

Obama vows ISIS will never raise their flag over the eighteenth hole

Harry Reid: "Sometimes I say the wong thing"

Elian Gonzalez wishes he had come to the U.S. on a bus from Central America like all the other kids

Obama visits US-Mexican border, calls for a two-state solution

Obama draws "blue line" in Iraq after Putin took away his red crayon

"Hard Choices," a porno flick loosely based on Hillary Clinton's memoir and starring Hillary Hellfire as a drinking, whoring Secretary of State, wildly outsells the flabby, sagging original

Accusations of siding with the enemy leave Sgt. Bergdahl with only two options: pursue a doctorate at Berkley or become a Senator from Massachusetts

Jay Carney stuck in line behind Eric Shinseki to leave the White House; estimated wait time from 15 min to 6 weeks

100% of scientists agree that if man-made global warming were real, "the last people we'd want to help us is the Obama administration"

Jay Carney says he found out that Obama found out that he found out that Obama found out that he found out about the latest Obama administration scandal on the news

"Anarchy Now!" meeting turns into riot over points of order, bylaws, and whether or not 'kicking the #^@&*! ass' of the person trying to speak is or is not violence

Obama retaliates against Putin by prohibiting unionized federal employees from dating hot Russian girls online during work hours

Russian separatists in Ukraine riot over an offensive YouTube video showing the toppling of Lenin statues

"Free Speech Zones" confuse Obamaphone owners who roam streets in search of additional air minutes

Obamacare bolsters employment for professionals with skills to convert meth back into sudafed

Gloves finally off: Obama uses pen and phone to cancel Putin's Netflix account

Joe Biden to Russia: "We will bury you by turning more of Eastern Europe over to your control!"

In last-ditch effort to help Ukraine, Obama deploys Rev. Sharpton and Rev. Jackson's Rainbow Coalition to Crimea

Al Sharpton: "Not even Putin can withstand our signature chanting, 'racist, sexist, anti-gay, Russian army go away'!"

Mardi Gras in North Korea: "Throw me some food!"

Obama's foreign policy works: "War, invasion, and conquest are signs of weakness; we've got Putin right where we want him"

US offers military solution to Ukraine crisis: "We will only fight countries that have LGBT military"

Putin annexes Brighton Beach to protect ethnic Russians in Brooklyn, Obama appeals to UN and EU for help

The 1980s: "Mr. Obama, we're just calling to ask if you want our foreign policy back. The 1970s are right here with us, and they're wondering, too."

In a stunning act of defiance, Obama courageously unfriends Putin on Facebook

MSNBC: Obama secures alliance with Austro-Hungarian Empire against Russia's aggression in Ukraine

Study: springbreak is to STDs what April 15th is to accountants

Efforts to achieve moisture justice for California thwarted by unfair redistribution of snow in America

North Korean voters unanimous: "We are the 100%"

Leader of authoritarian gulag-site, The People's Cube, unanimously 're-elected' with 100% voter turnout

Super Bowl: Obama blames Fox News for Broncos' loss

Feminist author slams gay marriage: "a man needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle"

Beverly Hills campaign heats up between Henry Waxman and Marianne Williamson over the widening income gap between millionaires and billionaires in their district

Biden to lower $10,000-a-plate Dinner For The Homeless to $5,000 so more homeless can attend

Kim becomes world leader, feeds uncle to dogs; Obama eats dogs, becomes world leader, America cries uncle

North Korean leader executes own uncle for talking about Obamacare at family Christmas party

White House hires part-time schizophrenic Mandela sign interpreter to help sell Obamacare

Kim Jong Un executes own "crazy uncle" to keep him from ruining another family Christmas

OFA admits its advice for area activists to give Obamacare Talk at shooting ranges was a bad idea

President resolves Obamacare debacle with executive order declaring all Americans equally healthy

Obama to Iran: "If you like your nuclear program, you can keep your nuclear program"

Bovine community outraged by flatulence coming from Washington DC

Obama: "I'm not particularly ideological; I believe in a good pragmatic five-year plan"

Shocker: Obama had no knowledge he'd been reelected until he read about it in the local newspaper last week

Server problems at HealthCare.gov so bad, it now flashes 'Error 808' message

NSA marks National Best Friend Day with official announcement: "Government is your best friend; we know you like no one else, we're always there, we're always willing to listen"

Al Qaeda cancels attack on USA citing launch of Obamacare as devastating enough

The President's latest talking point on Obamacare: "I didn't build that"

Dizzy with success, Obama renames his wildly popular healthcare mandate to HillaryCare

Carney: huge ObamaCare deductibles won't look as bad come hyperinflation

Washington Redskins drop 'Washington' from their name as offensive to most Americans

Poll: 83% of Americans favor cowboy diplomacy over rodeo clown diplomacy

GOVERNMENT WARNING: If you were able to complete ObamaCare form online, it wasn't a legitimate gov't website; you should report online fraud and change all your passwords

Obama administration gets serious, threatens Syria with ObamaCare

Obama authorizes the use of Vice President Joe Biden's double-barrel shotgun to fire a couple of blasts at Syria

Sharpton: "British royals should have named baby 'Trayvon.' By choosing 'George' they sided with white Hispanic racist Zimmerman"

DNC launches 'Carlos Danger' action figure; proceeds to fund a charity helping survivors of the Republican War on Women

Nancy Pelosi extends abortion rights to the birds and the bees

Hubble discovers planetary drift to the left

Obama: 'If I had a daughter-in-law, she would look like Rachael Jeantel'

FISA court rubberstamps statement denying its portrayal as government's rubber stamp

Every time ObamaCare gets delayed, a Julia somewhere dies

GOP to Schumer: 'Force full implementation of ObamaCare before 2014 or Dems will never win another election'

Obama: 'If I had a son... no, wait, my daughter can now marry a woman!'

Janet Napolitano: TSA findings reveal that since none of the hijackers were babies, elderly, or Tea Partiers, 9/11 was not an act of terrorism

News Flash: Sen. Mary Landrieu (D-LA) can see Canada from South Dakota

Susan Rice: IRS actions against tea parties caused by anti-tax YouTube video that was insulting to their faith

Drudge Report reduces font to fit all White House scandals onto one page

Obama: the IRS is a constitutional right, just like the Second Amendment

White House: top Obama officials using secret email accounts a result of bad IT advice to avoid spam mail from Nigeria

Jay Carney to critics: 'Pinocchio never said anything inconsistent'

Obama: If I had a gay son, he'd look like Jason Collins

Gosnell's office in Benghazi raided by the IRS: mainstream media's worst cover-up challenge to date

IRS targeting pro-gay-marriage LGBT groups leads to gayest tax revolt in U.S. history

After Arlington Cemetery rejects offer to bury Boston bomber, Westboro Babtist Church steps up with premium front lawn plot

Boston: Obama Administration to reclassify marathon bombing as 'sportsplace violence'

Study: Success has many fathers but failure becomes a government program

US Media: Can Pope Francis possibly clear up Vatican bureaucracy and banking without blaming the previous administration?

Michelle Obama praises weekend rampage by Chicago teens as good way to burn calories and stay healthy

This Passover, Obama urges his subjects to paint lamb's blood above doors in order to avoid the Sequester

White House to American children: Sequester causes layoffs among hens that lay Easter eggs; union-wage Easter Bunnies to be replaced by Mexican Chupacabras

Time Mag names Hugo Chavez world's sexiest corpse

Boy, 8, pretends banana is gun, makes daring escape from school

Study: Free lunches overpriced, lack nutrition

Oscars 2013: Michelle Obama announces long-awaited merger of Hollywood and the State

Joe Salazar defends the right of women to be raped in gun-free environment: 'rapists and rapees should work together to prevent gun violence for the common good'

Dept. of Health and Human Services eliminates rape by reclassifying assailants as 'undocumented sex partners'

Kremlin puts out warning not to photoshop Putin riding meteor unless bare-chested

Deeming football too violent, Obama moves to introduce Super Drone Sundays instead

Japan offers to extend nuclear umbrella to cover U.S. should America suffer devastating attack on its own defense spending

Feminists organize one billion women to protest male oppression with one billion lap dances

Urban community protests Mayor Bloomberg's ban on extra-large pop singers owning assault weapons

Concerned with mounting death toll, Taliban offers to send peacekeeping advisers to Chicago

Karl Rove puts an end to Tea Party with new 'Republicans For Democrats' strategy aimed at losing elections

Answering public skepticism, President Obama authorizes unlimited drone attacks on all skeet targets throughout the country

Skeet Ulrich denies claims he had been shot by President but considers changing his name to 'Traps'

White House releases new exciting photos of Obama standing, sitting, looking thoughtful, and even breathing in and out

New York Times hacked by Chinese government, Paul Krugman's economic policies stolen

White House: when President shoots skeet, he donates the meat to food banks that feed the middle class

To prove he is serious, Obama eliminates armed guard protection for President, Vice-President, and their families; establishes Gun-Free Zones around them instead

State Dept to send 100,000 American college students to China as security for US debt obligations

Jay Carney: Al Qaeda is on the run, they're just running forward

President issues executive orders banning cliffs, ceilings, obstructions, statistics, and other notions that prevent us from moving forwards and upward

Fearing the worst, Obama Administration outlaws the fan to prevent it from being hit by certain objects

World ends; S&P soars

Riddle of universe solved; answer not understood

Meek inherit Earth, can't afford estate taxes

Greece abandons Euro; accountants find Greece has no Euros anyway

Wheel finally reinvented; axles to be gradually reinvented in 3rd quarter of 2013

Bigfoot found in Ohio, mysteriously not voting for Obama

As Santa's workshop files for bankruptcy, Fed offers bailout in exchange for control of 'naughty and nice' list

Freak flying pig accident causes bacon to fly off shelves

Obama: green economy likely to transform America into a leading third world country of the new millennium

Report: President Obama to visit the United States in the near future

Obama promises to create thousands more economically neutral jobs

Modernizing Islam: New York imam proposes to canonize Saul Alinsky as religion's latter day prophet

Imam Rauf's peaceful solution: 'Move Ground Zero a few blocks away from the mosque and no one gets hurt'

Study: Obama's threat to burn tax money in Washington 'recruitment bonanza' for Tea Parties

Study: no Social Security reform will be needed if gov't raises retirement age to at least 814 years

Obama attends church service, worships self

Obama proposes national 'Win The Future' lottery; proceeds of new WTF Powerball to finance more gov't spending

Historical revisionists: "Hey, you never know"

Vice President Biden: criticizing Egypt is un-pharaoh

Israelis to Egyptian rioters: "don't damage the pyramids, we will not rebuild"

Lake Superior renamed Lake Inferior in spirit of tolerance and inclusiveness

Al Gore: It's a shame that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of polar bears

Michael Moore: As long as there is anyone with money to shake down, this country is not broke

Obama's teleprompters unionize, demand collective bargaining rights

Obama calls new taxes 'spending reductions in tax code.' Elsewhere rapists tout 'consent reductions in sexual intercourse'

Obama's teleprompter unhappy with White House Twitter: "Too few words"

Obama's Regulation Reduction committee finds US Constitution to be expensive outdated framework inefficiently regulating federal gov't

Taking a page from the Reagan years, Obama announces new era of Perestroika and Glasnost

Responding to Oslo shootings, Obama declares Christianity "Religion of Peace," praises "moderate Christians," promises to send one into space

Republicans block Obama's $420 billion program to give American families free charms that ward off economic bad luck

White House to impose Chimney tax on Santa Claus

Obama decrees the economy is not soaring as much as previously decreeed

Conservative think tank introduces children to capitalism with pop-up picture book "The Road to Smurfdom"

Al Gore proposes to combat Global Warming by extracting silver linings from clouds in Earth's atmosphere

Obama refutes charges of him being unresponsive to people's suffering: "When you pray to God, do you always hear a response?"

Obama regrets the US government didn't provide his mother with free contraceptives when she was in college

Fluke to Congress: drill, baby, drill!

Planned Parenthood introduces Frequent Flucker reward card: 'Come again soon!'

Obama to tornado victims: 'We inherited this weather from the previous administration'

Obama congratulates Putin on Chicago-style election outcome

People's Cube gives itself Hero of Socialist Labor medal in recognition of continued expert advice provided to the Obama Administration helping to shape its foreign and domestic policies

Hamas: Israeli air defense unfair to 99% of our missiles, "only 1% allowed to reach Israel"

Democrat strategist: without government supervision, women would have never evolved into humans

Voters Without Borders oppose Texas new voter ID law

Enraged by accusation that they are doing Obama's bidding, media leaders demand instructions from White House on how to respond

Obama blames previous Olympics for failure to win at this Olympics

Official: China plans to land on Moon or at least on cheap knockoff thereof

Koran-Contra: Obama secretly arms Syrian rebels

Poll: Progressive slogan 'We should be more like Europe' most popular with members of American Nazi Party

Obama to Evangelicals: Jesus saves, I just spend

May Day: Anarchists plan, schedule, synchronize, and execute a coordinated campaign against all of the above

Midwestern farmers hooked on new erotic novel "50 Shades of Hay"

Study: 99% of Liberals give the rest a bad name

Obama meets with Jewish leaders, proposes deeper circumcisions for the rich

Historians: Before HOPE & CHANGE there was HEMP & CHOOM at ten bucks a bag

Cancer once again fails to cure Venezuela of its "President for Life"

Tragic spelling error causes Muslim protesters to burn local boob-tube factory

Secretary of Energy Steven Chu: due to energy conservation, the light at the end of the tunnel will be switched off

Obama Administration running food stamps across the border with Mexico in an operation code-named "Fat And Furious"

Pakistan explodes in protest over new Adobe Acrobat update; 17 local acrobats killed

White House: "Let them eat statistics"

Special Ops: if Benedict Arnold had a son, he would look like Barack Obama

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